3 Ways to Find Joy in Being A Parent
By: Dilini Dharmawardana, AMFT
Being a parent is not always easy and it comes with its ups and downs and being a peaceful parent can be even harder. Sometimes it can be hard to find the positive in being a parent, especially the more children you have. There are times when all you want is for your child to be quiet or would not beg for candy at the store while the whole line watches. A lot of times we just need help seeing the positive side. Here are some helpful tips to help you find the positive side to being a parent:
Tip #1: Repeat words of gratitude to yourself about your child
Sometimes when things are going wrong finding gratitude in the fact these are children who you created can be difficult. But, counting blessings and being grateful for what we have is an important part of staying positive in tough times. So, the next time your child pisses you off take the time to count the things you like about your child. Gratitude can be found by journaling about some things you are grateful for, saying things you like about your child out loud, and noticing when your child does something right. All it takes is looking things in a more positive light.
Tip #2: Engage in Self-Care
If you are the one who is always taking care of the children and haven’t found time to take care of yourself, this could be the reason you struggle with finding joy in being a parent and therefore being a peaceful parent. Once you treat yourself to something nice while somebody else watches the children, then you will be better able to be the parent you want to be. Self-care is how we nourish our bodies and our minds, so find something you love to do and do it. Do things like take a bubble bath, go for a walk, pet your dog or cat or other furry friend. Self-care will help you find more peaceful ways to deal with parenting stumbling blocks.
Tip #3: Ignore the Behaviors that you can Ignore
A lot of times in parenting too much weight is given to every little behavior out there. While having rules and boundaries is important, deciding what behaviors are not worth the fight is also important. Sometimes it takes more energy than necessary to provide discipline for every single behavior. So take the time to write out which behaviors are most important for you to discipline and which are least and discipline only those that are necessary and safe yourself a lot more time and energy.
Parenting can be tough and nobody ever said it was easy and it is especially hard when there are people out there who would judge you for things that you do or don’t do as a parent. But, thinking about yourself as a parent and your own wants, needs, and your child’s wants and needs takes precedence. So, find the time to be grateful for what you have, find time to engage in self-care, and ignore behaviors that can be ignored in order to become the peaceful parent you want to be.
